The Hiatus

What is it like to feel unproductive?

And I don't ask that as a question of arrogance. But really as a method of reflection. Because being in-tune with our own abilities, our talents and our strengths requires a good sense of our weaknesses too. Which is why a lack of productivity has always carried such strange feelings along with it. On the one hand its a sign of laziness—and on the other a fatigue of work. Most times that scale tips to one way or the other but nonetheless being unproductive is tricky thing.

I hadn't really touched this site since the end of my Guided Learning project. Despite over two months of holiday, there was just no itch to get myself typing blog posts anymore. I was more productive during those four months because I had to be. Because people had expectations of me to do it. And now? Without those external expectations I find myself stuck in that lull of being unproductive that I have been no stranger to.

They say its called grit; to keep doing something even if it doesn't feel good. And I'm pretty sure I need some more of it. Writing a novel is painful. Tedious and arduous. Tiring. It took me 2 years to get the first ten chapters down properly and its taken me another five months to get the next ten. Editing The Ones Who Spoke was another task I kept pushing to the edges of my workload. My very small workload.

And of course no update on life is complete without the mention of everyone's new best friends, Covid and Corona. No doubt this Virus ruined a lot. Stress is one of those things that compliments being unproductive in such acute and special ways. It sucks and I guess its really one of those things that you gotta learn as much as you can from and wait the endurance gauntlet out.

I'd like to end this off by giving myself a leg up from the rut. This post hasn't been the type of content I've wanted to be putting up and so as I keep working on my Novel, I've decided to start re-approaching the work with a new perspective (one I hope has overreaching effects to other parts of my life). This blog is a tool. And as difficult as it is to use, I'm hurting myself more in the long run if I don't start using it properly.